Relationship and Dating Advice for Finding Love Online

Keeping Up Your Appearances For Dating

In courtship a man pursues a woman until she catches him.
- Proverb

You've successfully navigated your way onto a girl's messaging list. What's next?

Well, consistent contact, for one. Message her whenever possible. Make sure she never feels ignored. At the same time, though, don't apply pressure or try to force your way into her life. As time goes on she'll trust you more and more, and let you in of her own accord.

Try to talk to her at least once a day, if not more. Conversations need not be lengthy - ten or fifteen minutes apiece is fine, if you're lacking in time - so long as they're memorable. Try to make every exchange one she's not likely to forget so that you remain firmly rooted in her mind.

As time goes on do nice things for her. If she finds herself stuck in doing something, try to help out. If she's searching for a web page online, for example, do your best to find it yourself (especially if you think you can manage to locate it before her). If you're both gamers and into the same game, try to hunt down that one item she's been looking for so desperately. In short, anything that will put you in her good books.

Start making small requests. After a few days it's probably OK to request some sort of live chat, either via audio or visual or both. Making subtle hints in that direction is probably safer than coming out and saying it, but if you feel confident enough then by all means do so. Never forget during all this to keep your tone light, with the slightest touch of friendly mockery, to keep her intrigued.

It's just OK to try and coax admissions out of her - personal facts, that sort of thing - but don't push too hard or you'll risk scaring her off. Make it clear that you're somebody she can trust and open up to. And be sure to gauge how hard you push based on the girl's personality: the shyer she is, the less you'll want to coax.

Above all, don't wait too long to ask her out. If you do you'll risk entering the 'friends' zone, and that's a place you don't want to be if you're looking for a relationship with the girl. In most cases she won't want to break up your friendship by potentially ruining things with dating. A week or two should be enough time for her to gauge her feelings. And, even if she does turn you down the first time, it might not be the end of matters: she might just need more time. As long as you make it clear that you're looking for a relationship in the end she'll continue to think of you in that light.

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